Why do I write? Because it speaks to me, and I love it.

As a new indie author just starting out. If you have found this post and have taken the time to view it, Thank you and welcome to the chaos that is my brain! Cuddles and I are thrilled to have you. With each day I inch closer to my goal of writing full time and engaging with readers, other authors, and anyone else that appreciates the thriller genre full time. Sometimes it’s a millimeter in the right direction, some days it’s a foot, however long the journey will be I’ll always keep moving forward even though some days might send me a few steps back. This is the part about life, unrealized ambition and how it affects the pursuit of happiness that I find profound. The constant rubbering back and forth between motivation and overwhelming, intrusive evocation of the drive to remain consistent.

We all work towards our goals while the motivation is present. As an author and overall creative to me that means writing, creating characters that feel real and then fabricating scenarios for them to navigate. This has been a passion of mine ever since I was a child. Over the years, I allowed myself to search for meaning. I allowed myself to try new things or to “walk the earth” as one could say. It led me right back to where I started, crafting stories of fiction. Writing allows me not only to develop a story for readers to enjoy, analyze, think about late night, or outright not enjoy at all for even in the process of not liking something we still learn a little bit about ourselves each and every time. To each his own and I am well aware that my writing will not be for everyone. As is the case for most authors, behind the stories lies deep inner meaning through philosophical exploration. The deepest thinking and inner voices, the parts of you that you don’t even realize that exist within the characters you create. This is the wonder of writing to me. This is why I feel for my characters even though I am the one putting them through the trauma and stress. It speaks to me in a way that I wish I understood better years ago.

I have personally struggled addiction and with PTSD over the years and while I have it under control nowadays, I still battle anxiety and depression everyday. This is why Detective Perez’s character means so much to me. Initially, she was not meant to be the main protagonist of Marionette; Wes Porter was meant to be the main character. However, as I continued to write the novel, Perez started showing more of a closer connection to who I truly am and not the mask that I have worn in public for years. My mind, constantly firing on all cylinders, creating solutions for worst-case scenarios about life situations as they come, thinking two to three steps ahead, and planning conversations that haven’t happened yet. The worry of it all has a tendency to nearly break me and in some cases, send me into my own head for weeks at a time. So I am thankful and I feel truly blessed for the ability to explore these fears and ideas through my work. Over the years I have moved in and out of many different social circles, lines of work, artistic interest, and have attempted multiple business with an entrepreneurial gusto that ended up fizzling out and going nowhere. Why? Because it wasn’t me, none of it was what I was meant to do, and deep down I knew it. So here, on this website, in this blog and through my works shall I finally be my authentic self and quit trying to fit square pegs into round holes. Just typing this first blog post is a freeing experience and I feel lighter. So please, feel free to follow along as I continue to explore ideas through fiction, and make an absolute mess of things while I’m at it. Stay tuned for my next post I will be sharing more thoughts, musings, and creations with you all! Until then, be well and be sure to drink enough water and take care of yourselves!